Day 43343 ~ Mind Mapping My Feelings
I just did my very first mind map. I decided to map out how I feel at this moment. It is disturbing in its anger.
Yesterday I processed my thoughts about my professional path thus far, and I feel less stuck as a result. I don’t feel any less angry. In fact, I feel more angry at the players in the dramas I unwittingly found myself in. This was unexpected. But T says until I have gotten back onto the kind of professional path I want, I will probably be processing this kind of anger.
At least I no longer believe I have slammed into a brick wall at the end of an unexpected dead end street. Instead, I see myself standing at the end of one road with multiple roads branching off in front of me. And the coolest thing is I can take more than one path at a time.
If T is right, I had better learn to get comfortable with my anger. Distancing myself from it is not fruitful or productive. Learning to make progress in life while fully owning my anger is. The ideal I was presented as a child of not feeling or expressing anger has made me think I am supposed to do the mental equivalent of sitting in the corner (or submitting to a beating) until my anger passes. That ideal leaves me frozen and wondering when my anger will pass, instead of acting in my best interests, anger and all.
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